Airplane Hilarity

This would only happen to me. As my best friends know, I hate PDA. It makes me uncomfortable, I don't like doing it and I especially don't like watching it. It is for that reason that they insist to show PDA with their significant others in hopes of making me squirm. And it works...every time.

Only way I got through that PDA - liquid "I don't care anymore"

Well, they would be happy to know that they are not the only ones with this endeavor in mind. Now, it seems as though total strangers have the uncanny ability to sense this about me and decide to make my life as uncomfortable as possible. Case in point, my flight from Las Vegas to San Diego. I am currently on a work trip to San Diego (so amazing being out of Nebraska and that insane snow storm that forced Jim Cantore, of Weather Channel fame to head our way) for a speaking engagement with our alumni. The flight from Omaha to Vegas went off without a hitch. A slight delay at the beginning but then smooth sailing for 2.5 hours. I had a short layover in Vegas, seriously like 40 minutes before hopping on my last hour leg from Sin City to the land of perfect weather year-round.

Here's the deal. I like sitting at the front of the plane. You get off first, it seems to be the most quiet because children head to the back (if their parents are polite) and you get served first...I need my ginger ale. Also, I like an aisle seat. Who doesn't, right? So, the first row up front with an aisle seat available is next to a young couple. Fine. I don't usually engage with people on planes, although this usually ends up happening because apparently I "look so friendly and open" screw that noise. So I take a seat and start reading my Self mag. I have not been seated for more than 30 seconds before I see a slight movement of a hand on an inner thigh. Wait, what? Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Not only is there rubbing, it then turns to full on making out on the plane. No, this is not fake. I thought my retinas were burning out of my eye sockets. In fact, I wish they would have. They were whispering sweet nothings into one another's ears that I could clearly hear until thank God, we reached 10,000 feet and the captain announced that we could use electronic devices. Head phones in.

Yeah, I found that in the San Diego airport.
Unfortunately, he followed me back to Omaha. #Nebraskaproblems

This continued throughout the entirety of the flight. Kissing, rubbing, hugging (most awkward. Imagine trying to hug someone who is on your side. Actually, don't try it. It looked super weird and I'm sure felt really weird, although they seemed to ignore that fact.) I tried not to smirk or make any obvious noises that I was totally grossed out - I don't think I did a very good job. Holding back annoyed facials - not a strength of mind.

Anyway, thank goodness it was such a short flight. Once we landed, I booked it off the plane - thank God I sat toward the front and went to the bathroom to puke. Not really, but I felt like it.

In conclusion, don't do PDA. It makes others uncomfortable and is just plain embarrassing for you. And if you decide to, expect others to look at you funny and don't take offense, you deserve it.